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  •        
    24 Aug 2016

    An Observation
    There is something satisfying about driving in a DeLorean while listening to The Clash's Live: From Here to Eternity.

    [/dmc] [permanent link]

    13 Aug 2016

    What Year is This?!
    So this was my Saturday night....
    A bottle of Crystal Pepsi with Metallica's Ride the Lightning and
Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures vinyl records sitting on the hood of a
DeLorean Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures on a record player

    [/musings] [permanent link]

    09 Aug 2016

    He's Not Wrong...
    Over at Net Meister there's a nice peice entitled Things They Don't Teach You in School". A lot of what Jan has to say is spot-on observation and good advice.

    It's definitely worth a read.

    [/code] [permanent link]


       
    Eponymous
    Eponymous
       



    About
    My Infrequently Updated Blog. The web-based journal of M. Forde, computer nerd, endurance athlete, and DeLorean owner


    contact

    Subscribe
    Subscribe to a syndicated feed of my weblog, brought to you by the wonders of RSS.

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  • index
  • circa 1993
  • Sections

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  • running
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  • code
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  • ToS
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  • Giraffes
  • Eat. Run. Sleep.

  •        
    16 Aug 2017

    Sometimes...
    Sometimes it's dificult to find a reason to continue.

    [/musings/self] [permanent link]

    04 Jan 2012

    Disgusted
    With the Goofy Challenge just 3 days away, I should be carb-loading. And I am. And with each bite of my lunch I hate myself more. Every time I eat, I feel fat. And every time I ingest anything that isn't ultra-lean protein or high-fiber, I disgust myself. But I sit here, shoving food down my gullet.

    [/musings/self] [permanent link]

    22 Sep 2011

    When will I realize...
    I've been running for 3 years 6 months and 9 days. I've been 100 pounds lighter* for 2 years 9 months and 3 days. And I still don't feel like this is my body.

    [/musings/self] [permanent link]

    22 Apr 2011

    This makes me sick...
    This is why I was fat. I can't believe I used to eat this way... Although the Guinness Chocolate Pudding does sound good.

    [/musings/self] [permanent link]

    10 Apr 2011

    Acceptance, or lack thereof...
    A few days ago I picked up some dumbbells that had been left out, they were 40lbs each and I lifted them with one hand each. Three years ago the most I could lift, with both arms combined and "lifting with the legs," was 43lbs (the weight of my computer).

    Last month, I ran a 5K in 19:08. Yesterday during a speed workout I ran my two fastest 100m ever, 17.9 seconds and 17.87 seconds. Today I ran a 10K at a 6:24 pace, finishing in under 40 minutes. I've set a new PR in every distance I've raced this year except the half marathon, and that race I set a new record for myself on that particular course.

    I've put lost 126 pounds of fat and gained 36 pounds of bone and muscle. My body keeps getting stronger and faster.

    And I still can't accept my body for what it is....

    [/musings/self] [permanent link]

    17 Mar 2011

    I wasn't born this way; I made myself.
    I heard that Lady Gaga song on the radio the other day, you know the one that sounds like the Madonna song, and it got me thinking. On the surface it seems to contain a very positive message about accepting yourself because you were "Born This Way." You were born like this, you were made this way, there's nothing you can do about it so be happy with it.

    I disagree. Sure, when we're born we're stuck with the genetic material passed on to us by our lineage. But we're more than that, what we are, what we become, is so much more than how we were born. And this made me think about the Incubus song, "Make Yourself." I find the message of that song to be much more positive. While the song has an overt "them vs. you" context, the general theme is one of taking responsibility for yourself and what you become.

    Was I born the way I am today? Judging from the direction my life took in the first twenty-six years, and comparing it to the last three years, the answer is no. I was born heavy, weighing in over nine pounds. I grew into a heavy kid. I was always sad and lonely as a kid. I had few friends. I rarely went outside. I never played sports. I watched a lot of TV. I ate a lot. I got heavier. I got sadder. I got lonelier. But I was born this way, right? I should have just accepted it, right?

    While I was born heavy, I didn't have to stay that way. It was my own choices that made me into the depressed, obese misanthrope I was. Despite my claims that I was born that way, genetically predisposed to those conditions, I really made myself that way.

    And then I decided to change that. I took responsibility for my life. I started exercising. I ran. I ate healthier. I lost weight. I had better relationships with my friends. I started making new friends. I became happier.

    Just as I had made myself into what I was, I made myself into what I am today. The key to this change was taking personal responsibility for myself. No longer did I use the excuse of being born that way. I knew I was like that because of my decisions and my actions. I knew through my decisions and my actions I could change. And I did. I made myself.

    "If you really want to live, why not try and make yourself?"

    [/musings/self] [permanent link]

    13 Jan 2011

    Duality
    Given the infinitesimally small reader base of this weblog, and the fact that most, if not all, of those readers know me personally, there's a good chance that you know I've fairly recently gotten a pair of tattoos.

    The first tattoo, on my right arm, is a "26.2" in a giraffe print. That number, of course, is the distance of a Marathon in miles. Approximately one tenth of one percent of the population has ever completed a Marathon. I am one of those individuals and it is because of the Giraffes, the running team my friends started and pulled me into, that I was able to accomplish this feat.

    The second tattoo, on my left arm, is a 6x8 grid of binary digits which spell out my first initial and last name in ASCII. Beneath the binary grid is a "v3.1" in a more stylized font. I was named after my father who had been named after his father, making me the third, version 3.0 if you will. In the last few years I've "upgraded." I'm smaller, faster, stronger, kinder, more extroverted and more optimistic than I was, but I am not an entirely new person. Hence v3.1.

    There's more to the meaning of these tattoos than the explanations above. They represent the duality of myself. One represents the decidedly geeky nature that has been a part of me for almost my entire life. The other represents a newer aspect of myself, the endurance athlete.

    It has been difficult for me to resolve these aspects. You were a nerd or a jock. There was a perceived inherent conflict between the two. You could be one or the other, not both. I was a nerd. I was never a jock. Now I'm both.

    And I can be both. There is no reason can't, because this is what I've become; this is what I am.

    [/musings/self] [permanent link]


       
    Eponymous
    Eponymous
       



    About
    My Infrequently Updated Blog. The web-based journal of M. Forde, computer nerd, endurance athlete, and DeLorean owner


    contact

    Subscribe
    Subscribe to a syndicated feed of my weblog, brought to you by the wonders of RSS.

    Flavors
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  • index
  • circa 1993
  • Sections

  • main
  • musings
  • running
  • DeLorean
  • code
  • unix
  • album
  • TBM
  • Archives

  • 2022
  • 2021
  • 2020
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2016
  • 2015
  • 2014
  • 2013
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  • 2008
  • 2007
  • Disclaimers, Copyrights, Privacy, Etc.

  • ToS
  • Copyrights
  • Links

  • olix0r.net
  • netmeister.org
  • Giraffes
  • Eat. Run. Sleep.

  •        
    25 May 2016

    Found this sitting in a tarball of my old home directory...

    
                                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                                  
                  ..,,..  ..ttLLLLtt..  ..;;ii;;,,..;;ttGGLL;;....iiiiiiiiiiii..    ..iijjttttii..                                
          iiLLLLGGKKKKDDLLGG########GGLLDDWWWWWWKKKKKK######WWDDEEWW##WWWW##WWDDjjffDD##########LL..          ..;;..              
      ..ffWW########WWKK####KKjjttEE####WWGGGGEEGGDDDDGGjjttGGKKWWWWLLGGLLGG##########DDjjttttGG##GGffttiiiiffDDKKDDGGGGGGii      
      ff####GGffffttii;;ttLLiijjtt;;LLtt;;,,,,;;;;;;iittLLtt;;,,iiiiiitt;;;;ffGGGGLLtt;;iiii;;;;DDWW####WWWW####KKDDKKKKWWWWtt    
    ..EE##LL;;ttttLLttLLLLttff##WWGGjjffGGDDGGKKKKKKWW####WWDDGGDDDDWW##EEEEffttffLLffGGWWWWGG;;;;ttffjjffDDDDff;;;;;;iittKKWWii  
    ;;KKKKiittKK######WWWW######################################KKKKWW##WW##################WWKKDDffttjjjjiiiiiiLLEEGGDDiittWWLL  
    ..KK##ttGG######WWDDDDEEKKDDKKWWDDKKEEKKWWEEKKEEWW##WWKKWWEELLLLDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKK##########WW####KKWWKK########KKiiDDEEii
      DD##ffGG######EELLLLLLLLLLGGDDLLDDGGDDDDLLLLEE####WWGGGGLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDKK######WW####KKKKKKWWWWKKKKWW####ttLLWWLL
      GG##LLLL##KKKKDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLGGWW####WWLLDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLGGKKWW######EEEEDDLLLLLLDDEEEELLEE####ffLLWWGG
      LL##GGjj##KKLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDKK####WWLLEEDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLGGEEKK##WW##EELLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDLLKK##WWiiGGKKjj
      jj##GGiiWWWWGGLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDKK####KKLLKKEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKK##GG##EEDDDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKK##GG;;KKDD;;
      ii##EE;;DDWWGGLLLLLLLLLLLLGGLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKK####KKLLDDDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEE##ffWWKKEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKWWiijj##ff  
      ;;WWWWiiGGKKLLLLLLLLGGLLDDEEDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKK####KKDDGGLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDWWttEEWWDDDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEKKiiKKWW;;  
      ;;WW##ttGGWWGGLLLLLLEEDDEE##KKLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKK######WWEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDGGGGDDKKWWiiLLWWGGLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKKKttWWLL    
      iiWWKKiiKK##DDLLLLLLEEEEWW##WWDDLLLLLLLLLLLLKKWW######EELLLLLLLLLLDDEEEEWWWWKKKKWW####ii;;KKDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDWWKKffWWtt    
      ii##WWttWW##EELLLLLLDDEE######EELLLLLLLLLLLLKKDDEE####KKLLLLLLLLLLEE##################ii..KKEELLLLLLLLLLLLGGDD##DDffWWii    
      ;;WW##ttLL##KKLLLLLLLLEE##KK##KKLLLLLLLLLLDD##LLLLEEWWKKLLLLLLLLLLKK####WWKKffLLKKWWGG;;..EEKKLLLLLLLLLLLLDDEE##LLLLWWii    
      ..EE##LLiiWWKKLLLLLLGGKK##LLKKKKGGLLLLLLDDWW##ff;;iiKKKKLLLLLLLLLLKK##WWLLffttiijjLLiiffttGG##DDLLLLLLLLDDEEKK##ffLLKKii    
        LL##KKiiKKWWGGLLLLLLKK##ttGGWWDDLLLLLLEE####tt;;,,EEKKDDLLLLLLLLEE##########WWWWWWttGGGGttWWWWDDLLLLLLGGGGKK##ffGGKK;;    
        iiWW##ttGGWWDDLLLLGGWWKK;;GGWWDDLLLLLLEE##KKiiGG;;KKKKDDLLLLLLLLGGEEWW##KKEEDDDDKKttKK##ttGG##DDLLLLLLLLGGWW##jjEEEE..    
          GG##GGttWWDDLLLLGGWWKKiiWWWWDDLLLLLLEE##GGttKKiiGG##EELLLLLLLLLLLLGGDDGGLLLLEEKKjjWW##ffLLWWGGLLLLLLLLGGWWWWjjKKGG      
          tt##EEttWWDDLLLLDDWW##WW####DDLLLLLLKK##ffLL##DDttWWWWDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKKKjj####jjGGKKLLGGLLLLLLDD##KKttWWLL      
          ii##KKttKKDDLLLLGGWW####WW##EELLLLLLEE##jjGG####ttDDWWGGLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDGGWWEEtt####ttKKWWLLLLLLLLLLDD##GGffWWtt      
          iiWWKKttWWEELLLLLLEEKKKKEEEEDDLLLLLLEE##ttEE####jjKKWWDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDWWDDtt##WWttWW##DDLLLLLLLLEE##LLLLWWii      
          iiWWKKff##EELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEWWttKK##KKttWW##EELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDD##GGtt##WWttWW##EELLLLLLLLEE##ttGGEE..      
          iiWWWWff##KKLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLGGKKWWttWW##KK;;EE##EELLLLLLLLLLGGGGGGGGEE##GGtt##WWttKK##EELLLLLLLLEEWWttEELL        
          ;;WWKKff##KKGGGGLLDDLLLLLLGGLLLLLLDDWWKKtt####WWiiLL##EELLLLLLDDKKWWWWKKWW####ffff##WWttEEWWDDLLLLLLLLEEKKiiEELL        
          ;;WWKKjjWWKKLLLLDDWWEEDDEEKKDDLLLLDDWWKKjj######jjLL##EELLLLLLEE##############jjLL####ttGG##DDLLLLLLLLKKKKiiKKff        
          ;;WWWWttKKEELLLLEE####WW####KKGGLLDDWWDDjj######ffGG##EELLLLLLEE##LLLLLLWWWWKKiiGG####LLjj##DDLLLLLLLLKKEEttWWff        
          ;;KKWWiiEEDDLLLLWW############DDLLGGWWDDjj######GGff##KKLLLLLLEE##ttiiiitttt,,;;KK####DDtt##EELLLLLLLLKKDDttWWtt        
          ;;KKWWiiDDDDLLLLWWWWffff######EELLDD##GGff######KKttWW##DDLLLLEE##ffGGKKjj;;iiDD######KKjj##KKLLLLLLLLKKGGffWWii        
          ,,KK##iiDDEELLLLWWGG  iiffffWWDDLLEE##GGff########ttGG##EELLLLEE##ttLL####WWWW########KKtt##KKLLLLLLGGWWLLLLKK;;        
          ..KK##ttLLKKLLLLKKGG......ttKKGGLLEE##LLLL########GGtt##KKLLLLEEKK;;LL########WWKKWW##KKttWWWWDDLLLLDD##ffLLGG..        
          ..KK##jjLLWWGGLLKKKK;;ttttff##DDLLDDWWttGG########KKttWWKKGGLLDDKKiiEE##ffttttii..ttWWWWttKK##EELLDDKK##ttGGGG          
          ;;KK##ffLLWWGGLLKKEE;;LLGGtt##KKLLGGKKjjKK########WWttKKWWDDLLDDKKttKKEE..          GG##ffff##WWDDWW##EEiiEELL          
          ..DD##GGttWWDDLLEEGG..LLWWttKKKKGGEEKKjjWW##########ttGG##KKDDDDWWttEEDD..          tt##KKiiWW##WW####GGtt##ff          
            ff##KKiiWWDDGGEEGGiiWW##ttDDKKDDWWKKjj############ffLL####WWKK##ttDDEE..          ;;KK##ttLL######WWttLL##ii          
            ;;WWWWttKKWWKKKKGGjj####ttGGWWEEWWGGtt############LLLL##########ttKKDD              GG##EEiiDD####LL;;KKEE..          
            ..EE##ffLL##WW##GGtt####jjLL######LLtt############LLttWWGGKK##LLttWWLL              iiWW##ffff####ttGG##ff            
              LL##EEttGGLL##GGtt####LLttWWKK##ffLL##EEttttKK##DD;;ff;;ttEE;;GG##tt                ff##DDiiKKLLiiWWKK;;            
              tt####ttii;;KKffff####KKiiii;;GG;;LL##ii    iiWW##LL::  ;;tttt##DD..                ;;KKWWiiffiiGG##ff              
              ..KK##GGttiiii;;GG######DDLLii;;;;KKEE..      ff####DDLLii;;GGWW;;                  ..DD##LL..tt##KK;;              
                jj######GG..jj############GGiiDD##ff        ..LL######WWKK##GG                      ff##WWDDWW##tt                
                ..LL####WWGGWWWWffiittGGWW##WW##DD::          ..ffKKWWWWWWKKtt                      ,,DD######ff..                
                  ..ttEEWWWWDDii        ttEEKKGG;;                ..;;;;ii;;                          ;;ttffii..                  
                      ..ii;;..            ..;;..                                                                                  
                                                                                                                                  
    

    [/musings] [permanent link]

    Remapping Keys in Vim
    While I love the keyboard on my relatively new Dell M4800, I'm not particularly fond of the placement of the Page Up and Page Down keys to the left and right of the Up arrow, and above the Left and Right arrow keys. I find myself accidently hitting those keys too frequently while editing code and jumping all over the file.

    So I remapped them. It was quite simple, because Vim is awesome. I added the following lines to my .vimrc file:

    map <PageUp> <Up>
    map <PageDown> <Down>


    This turns Page Up into a second Up arrow, and Page Down into a second Down arrow. For now, I'll leave it like that. I may remap them to the Left and Right arrows in the future. Or not.

    [/unix] [permanent link]


       
    Eponymous
    Eponymous
       



    About
    My Infrequently Updated Blog. The web-based journal of M. Forde, computer nerd, endurance athlete, and DeLorean owner


    contact

    Subscribe
    Subscribe to a syndicated feed of my weblog, brought to you by the wonders of RSS.

    Flavors
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  • index
  • circa 1993
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  • netmeister.org
  • Giraffes
  • Eat. Run. Sleep.

  •        
    26 Dec 2008

    An Awesome Christmas Present
    I waited until to today to verify that it wasn't just a random occurrence. I checked again this morning and it was the same as yesterday.

    I gave myself one of the best Christmas presents I've ever received. It took me about nine months to accomplish it, but I gave myself a new body, and more positive perspective on life.

    As of yesterday, I have lost 101 pounds (45.8Kg for those of you who prefer the metric system) and over nine inches (22.86 cm) from my waistline.

    A friend of mine told me tonight that, her doctor had told her recently that people can live much better lives, with fewer ailments, if they just made simple life changes. She said that having watched me over the last year transform my body, my mind, and my life, she found me to be a good model for positive changes people can make in their lives. As much as hitting the century mark meant to me, her words meant even more.

    I've been thinking about this for a while and I think I'm going to become a motivational speaker. I want to help people change their lives for the better.

    [/musings] [permanent link]

    24 Dec 2008

    Season's Greetings
    To my Democrat friends:

    Please accept (with no obligation, implied or implicit) best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday,practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (This is not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country, nor that America is the only country in the Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for himself, herself, or others. This greeting is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.


    To my Republican friends:

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

    [/musings] [permanent link]

    19 Dec 2008

    A Strange Encounter
    Yesterday morning at work I was walking back to my cubical from the cafeteria with a bottle of water in my hand and a woman from another department stopped me in the corridor.

    She said (roughly), "I've seen you over the last few months and you've lost a lot of weight and I just wanted to tell you you look great."

    To which I replied (roughly), "Thank you," and I smiled.

    [/musings] [permanent link]

    It's snowing!
    Okay, it's not snowing right now, but it was earlier. I took some vacation time and cut out of work early today. I spent an hour and a half driving 11 miles home. By time I got home the snow was already 3 to 4 inches deep and still coming down.

    So what did I do? I put on my normal cold weather running gear, put on sweat pants and a sweat shirt over that, and took off running.

    After the first mile, I was a lot warmer than I thought I'd be. There was a big difference between running today at 28F and running last week at 20F. I took off the sweat shirt and continued running. Along the way I got a lot of strange looks from people shoveling their driveways, but I suppose that is to be expected.

    I ran about 6K and while it wasn't my best run, it was good fun.

    [/running] [permanent link]

    06 Dec 2008

    Coding Soundtrack
    Two albums that are great for background music while coding:

    • The Matrix Soundtrack
    • Spawn: The Album


    The industrial/metal/techno mix on these two just fades into the background. The music is repetitive enough to not require direct attention, but not so repetitive that it draws attention to itself.

    If anyone has any other good suggestions for background music while coding, I'd love to hear them.

    [/musings] [permanent link]